Pick-up Lines: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

As a single woman I really have a lot to deal with. Having no man at your side when you are out at a club or restaurant means that you are exposed! Exposed dear readers to the advances of less than desirable men. Some men seem to think that my being single is an open invitation for them to pounce and attack. I call it the attack of the lame, ridiculous and bad, bad pick-up lines. Trust me, I have heard them all.

One night at a club, I’m dancing and doing my thing, when this guy comes up to me and just begins to stare. He then makes his move and shouts into my ear, “I noticed you noticing me, and I’d like to notify you that I noticed you too.” HAHAHA. Yes he actually delivered that line with a straight face and felt mighty proud of himself. I of course did not take him seriously, laughed and continued dancing in another area of the dance floor. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Another guy a week later notified me that he had not taken his pills as yet but I worked just like Viagra, so he didn’t need them. Now that one just deserves a slap in the face. Wait, there’s more. A pleasant and older looking gentleman once approached me at a restaurant and said, “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine.” My response “Don’t worry. I just left.”

Now what’s the deal with guys just grabbing women on the dance floor or touching them when they walk by? To the guilty ones, you have no right. It doesn’t mean that a girl wants you just because you want her. And if she is single, she may want to be and you are not the answer to her prayers. That reminds me of a line delivered to one of my girlfriends. The guy actually said, “ Ok I’m here, what’s your next wish?” Give me a break. Can’t they come up with something more intelligent and more real to say? Someone even told my mother that she was so sweet that she was giving him a toothache. Oh please!

Now guys and some girls, you may be wondering about the right way to make someone know that you are interested or ‘pick them up’. Dating experts say that the best way is to just be you and be real. That means if the person is across the room, a simple smile will do. Ladies if you see a really hot guy a few feet away, give a little smile while looking into his eyes, turn away after a few seconds and touch your hair seductively. I’m not talking about flipping it over or anything, just move the few strands out of your eyes and pretend that you don’t know he is watching. Guys all you have to do when you get that signal is walk up to the girl; say hello my name is blah, blah, blah, what’s yours. That’s all it takes. I can’t promise you that you will find the girl of your dreams but I can assure you that she will definitely be more receptive to your advances.

Now I have to end this with one of my favourite pick-up lines. “ Baby you remind me of a parking ticket cause you have ‘fine’ written all over your face.” Until next week…

Let me know what you think. Email me at lovechronicles@hotmail.com