A Thin Line Between Love & Madness

We all have to admit that when it comes to love we can go a little nuts sometimes, especially when we’re trying to get someone to fall in love with us or to stay with us. Scientists have proven that chemicals released in our brain during the first stages of love actually cause us to suffer from symptoms of craziness. But how do we know when we have gone too far in our quest to capture the one? Or how much is too much when we are trying to impress our date?

As usual, I can pull out examples from my treasure chest of experiences. Many years ago, a guy wanted to let me know how he felt about me. We were both in this stage production together and it was a rehearsal day. The guy enters the building with a huge, and I mean huge bunch of balloons tied together with ribbons streaming down his hands. “For you, Esther,” he says dramatically as he hands them over. I smiled as best I could and accepted the balloons. For some reason, I really do not remember what happened after that. Did I leave them behind? Did I take them home? Did I trash them? That remains a mystery. Maybe I mentally blocked out the whole incident. Some of you may be thinking how sweet that guy was but at that time I just thought it was creepy. The whole balloon thing was just a bit much. I wasn't even going out with the guy or anything but he wanted to declare his love.

In my favorite book of all times, Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera, one of the main characters falls and remains in love with a woman for about sixty years, even though she is with someone else. Everything he does in his life is for her and he never gives up hope that the two of them will end up living happily ever after. Now, is that a little crazy or what? How does it end? Go read the book!

How far can we go when trying to impress someone we are interested in? If you start thinking that your actions are a little crazy, then maybe they are. When you start stalking someone, calling them twelve times in a row (yes, a guy has done that to me!) or trying to harm the competition (as astronaut Lisa Nowark did a couple of months ago), then Houston, we have a problem.

The thing is that in our minds, what we are doing is completely normal. So how do we draw the line between showing our love and acting like a crazy person? If the person at the receiving end of your affections starts to stay as far away from you as possible, asks you to leave them the hell alone, pepper spray you or get a restraining order, then you have definitely crossed the line.

As the saying goes, every dog has his bone. So someone’s actions that may seem crazy to one person may be seen at as sweet by the next. A very good acquaintance of mine had a crush on a guy with a spider tattoo on his arm. She figured that he must really have an obsession with spiders so she invited him to her house one night for dinner. My dear friend had decorated her house with fake spiders and webs and even put on a T-shirt with a web on it. Result? The guy was out of there faster than you could say Spiderman. Now this girl is the sweetest person you will ever meet, and was simply trying to impress a guy she thought loved spiders. The guy just thought she was plum crazy!

This girl’s case is mild compared to some other situations I have heard about. So guys and gals, in an attempt to impress the ones we are attracted to, let’s not go overboard in the first two weeks. Save the craziness for later when we already have them in our spiderweb!