Enough Already!

I have really had enough! Enough of the bad pick up lines, the irritating guys who still do not get the message after you tell them to leave you alone, and the men invading your personal space when you are out trying to have a good time. I have concluded that all of this happens to me because I am single. Think about it. If I had a man at my side, would these idiotic creatures still pounce? I do not think so and I have all of the evidence to prove it!

Incident one. I was at a party a few weeks ago and I seem to be the only single gal there. Why did I come? I thought to my self as I looked around and saw almost everyone else in a twosome. I will blame it on my sister who dragged me out and who was also not alone. So I’m there, just bouncing my head to the music, eating some fried chicken, when this guy who had been staring at me for the last half hour approached. “Hey, are you a model?” he asked while coming way too close to me. “Well sometimes I model,” I answered being as polite as possible. “Well, I just knew it. You have this different look, I just can’t explain it, a different face, yes, body, uhum, yes,” he continued to babble as he surveyed the area a.k.a. me!

I looked around for someone to save me, someone who would come to my rescue or even my sister but they were all otherwise occupied with their husbands, wives, boyfriends or girlfriends. As he continued to drop every chat line available, I just knew that all this torture could have been avoided if I was part of a couple. The guy would probably have never approached me, or my boyfriend would scare him off for me. HAHAHA.

Incident number two. I was filming something for my television show Access Caribbean, when a guy at the location started acting really chummy. Now I am usually a friendly person and my sister says that I flirt without realizing it, so maybe I am to blame for all of this. Anyway, when I was leaving, I reached across to shake the guy’s hand. Instead he reached over and kissed me on the cheek and handed me a piece of paper. “Why don’t you put your number on there so I can take you out,” he said seductively, smiling and staring into my eyes. I didn’t want to be rude and just tell him no, so I quickly scanned my reserve of excuses stored in the brain and came up with the following. “Well, I have a boyfriend and I don’t think he would like other guys taking me out on dates,” I said, hoping that he had never read the Love Chronicles column, where I plainly state that I am single.

“How long have you had that problem?” he answered quickly. “Well for a year and a half now,” I responded. “Oh ok, well that’s too bad,” he said backing off instantly. Ahah! Problem solved. So you see, I mention that I have a boyfriend, the guy back off and does not pursue. I can only imagine how different the situation would have turned out if I had said that I was single. In the past, when some guys heard the magic ‘single’ word, they take that as a license to try to convince me that the are the perfect guy for me and are convinced that I will believe that too if they just bug me enough.

Incident three. I was at a club in Dominica sometime ago, dancing away when this guy asked me to dance. I told him that my boyfriend was coming right back, so no I could not dance with him. The guy told me that he was sure that I had no boyfriend and that I just did not want to dance with him. Humm, smart guy. But I was out with a male friend, so when he returned to dance with me, I smiled over at the guy to show him that I indeed had a boyfriend. Oh my! The things a single gal has to go though everyday. I have truly had enough, so I am now accepting applications from guys who want to play the role of my boyfriend! Until next week…