Long Distance Love

Recently a friend of mine asked for some advice concerning her relationship. Her boyfriend of two years was moving away indefinitely for business purposes. He had asked her to join him but her commitments in St. Lucia prevented her from doing so. She admitted that she was truly in love with him and wanted to know if she should try to save the relationship regardless of the distance (he would be moving to Europe). Can love survive the long distance?

Many persons all around the world are now dealing with long distance relationships for several reasons. Some move for work and others for school. Other couples have to deal with their partner being away for several weeks at a time and we all know the horror stories about the traveling salesman with two wives and families who know nothing about each other. So what options does a couple, getting ready to deal with long distance love, have?

In an article by Andre Cross for Askmen.com, he talks about three basic options. The first is that the couple can decide to remain faithful to each other and keep the relationship as is. The second option is that the couple can agree to date other people, have an open relationship and see what happens. The third is that they can call it quits and start dating other people right away. So what is the best option? It all depends on what is best for the particular couple.

The couple has to decide whether the relationship is worth saving and must agree on how they will deal with the separation. So many issues arise with all of the options. If a couple decides to stay together regardless of distance, then trust issues come into play. When people live in different countries or even on different continents there is no sure way of knowing what they are up to. This reminds me of an incident that happened to one of my guy friends. He and his then girlfriend had decided to stay together even if they attended university in different states in the US. They communicated very often and the guy remained faithful. One holiday weekend, he decided to surprise her and flew over to see her. He went straight to her apartment from the airport, knocked on her door, expecting her to answer. She wasn’t home, but a guy claiming to be her boyfriend was and wanted to know who the hell he was. Well, well drama followed and he broke it off with the girl and took his depressed self back home.

Stephen Blake, author of the best selling ‘Loving Your Long Distance Relationship’ series is more positive about the survival of these types of relationships. He says that distance is not the end of the world in a relationship and that distance cannot and will not hurt a bond between two people, which is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment and love. Mr. Blake is rather optimistic but hey I guess it works for some people. Until next week…