Monogamy, Polygamy & Polyandry

Monogamy is usually described as having only one spouse or romantic partner at a time. This topic, as with any other relating to love, dating or relationships, causes heated discussions and arguments among persons with different views. Scientists and relationship experts are constantly researching and trying to answer the question of monogamy. Is it realistic for human beings to be with only one person at a time?

I was recently discussing monogamy with an acquaintance and he reported the tale of one straying husband. That husband in question had informed his wife that he wanted a divorce because she didn’t want to understand that he wanted to be with other women. YES, dear readers, you read right. He wanted to divorce his wife because she did not want to accept the fact that he wanted to be with other women, while still married to her. (Let’s pause here to take a deep breathe.). Some of us may be appalled at the above story but it that not the norm in St. Lucia? I have heard so many tales of persons having multiple boyfriends or girlfriends and everybody is just fine with it.

A local DJ was taking to me recently about his girlfriends and I being as curious as usual, asked him how many. “How many girlfriends do you have?” I asked. “Well, I have four main girls and about six to nine others,” he answered. WHAT???? “Do they all know about each other?” I continued asking. “Yes they do and it is ok with them,” he responded. Ok, let’s leave that one alone for another article. So if being with more than one person at a time is so widely accepted, is being with only one or being monogamous really realistic? Have we been programmed to think that having only one mate is the right thing to do and what do the research scientists have to say about it?

This is what scientific researchers have to say. Is monogamy natural in human beings? No. They also say that monogamy in the animal world, especially in mammals is very, very rare. So in the animal kingdom, the creatures really cannot help doing what comes naturally. Biologically they are supposed to be with more than one creature at a time. They do not have a choice, do they? As one scientist put it, “The animals do not have a choice, but humans do.” So there you go. Even if it is not natural for human beings to be monogamous, we have a choice whether we are or not.

The father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, once argued that civilization is founded on the repression of instincts. In other words, society is based on the fact that human beings do not act naturally. I am sure we all know that things are much easier if we are with only one partner or spouse at a time.

History researchers also say that polygamy (having more than one partner or spouse at the same time) was practiced in many areas of the world before the rules of European civilization spread. In many developing countries around the world, polygamy is still a common practice with men having many wives. In the Toda tribe of India and some other Hindu societies, the practice of polyandry occurs. Polyandry is where one woman has several husbands. Oh my!! I wonder if polyandry is legal in St. Lucia. Ummm... Just kidding! Until next week…