Dazed & Confused

Sometimes, something so mind boggling, so head turning, so perplexing, puzzling, baffling and so bewildering happens that you are just left dazed and confused. No it is not another government scandal, bank robbery or West Indies Cricket Team loss. It is the behavior of the opposite sex, the male Homo sapiens, these residents of Mars. Could we women ever understand the mind of the man and should we even try???

There is a huge misconception, which we have all subconsciously learned, and heard over and over again. Women are confusing, men are straightforward. Dear readers, I beg to differ! I have constantly heard men say that women are just so hard to understand, that we say one thing but really mean something else. Women are always being referred to as the complicated sex and men are called simple. Are they really that simple? Even so called ‘love experts’ get in on the action of perpetuating that untruth. One of these experts, called Doc Love, insists that ‘women have an innate understanding of men, but men do not understand women at all.’ Hey, we (women) are probably the smarter sex, but when it comes to dating, men demonstrate just as confusing behaviour as women, sometimes even more.

The first question all women want answered is, ‘Why do men never call when they say they will call?’ For the answer to this question, I consulted several of my male friends, did extensive research and dug deep into the male psyche to uncover the answer. Do you want to know what I found out? Different men have very, very different reasons why. And they say we women never agree!! Just kidding guys. Anyway, one guy informed me that he would tell a girl whom he is dating that he will call later, but will wait for a few days. Why? Is he not interested? Of course he is, but he just does not want to seem too eager or too needy by calling when he says he will call. He wants to seem a little unavailable and therefore more desirable. Huh? On the other hand, an online ‘dating guru’ decoded this similar behaviour in an entirely opposite way. This guru stated that the guy who is not calling when he says he will is just not interested in the woman in question. Okay, I’m still confused, and where are guys getting their dating advice!

Sometimes men say one thing, them do another. A woman recently told me that she was dating this guy; things were going great and the guy constantly made plans for the two of them. Then one day, he just vanished! He stopped calling, stopped texting, stopped email and never asked her out again. She saw him now and then but he never gave her an explanation. I again consulted my testosterone panel for the answer. One guy reported that he had done this once because he had another girlfriend, juggling two women was becoming too difficult, and he didn’t know any other way to break it off easily with the other girl. A ‘dating expert’ analyzed this behaviour as a way that immature guys let a woman know that he is just not interested or just not that into her. Yet another guy reported that he once disappeared from a girl’s life because he felt that he was not good enough for her and didn’t feel confident when he was around her. Huh? I am again confused.

I recently asked a guy a simple question. ‘What’s wrong?’ His answer, ‘Nothing’s wrong.’ It was obvious that something was but he probably expected me to be a mind reader or something. Hey, what’s going on here, have the tables turned? Women normally say nothing’s wrong when something’s wrong. Maybe guys are just like us after all! Okay, now I’m really confused!!!