Dating 101

The world of dating is tres confusing. There are many rule books and guides out there to help ease the pain, but they sometimes give very different advice, so that just makes matters worse. Let’s start from the beginning. What is dating anyway? The Oxford dictionary describes a date as ‘to make a social engagement with’. In layman terms, I like you, you like me, lets get together and see if we really like each other. (Sounds like a song from the TV show Barney, not that I watch it.) The comedian Jerry Seinfeld once described dating as a job interview that you may wind up naked at the end of. So true. Should we follow some form of dating rules or do we just go with the flow?

The first issue with dating is getting the first date. Say you meet this person at a club, you two have a great time dancing and flirting and you get his or her number. How long after that initial meeting should you wait to call? The answer to this question varies. Some women I asked say that the day after, in the evening time, is great. The guy doesn’t seem too desperate by calling early in the day but comes off as thoughtful and makes you know that he is very interested. Others expect some form of communication on the same night. A guy friend on the other hand said that if he really wants to date a girl he will wait a couple of days before calling, so that he does not seem desperate or overly eager. Other guys have reported that they would contact the girl that same night to show their interest and cement the initial connection. Now I’m more confused than ever. I guess that it really depends on the people involved and the situation. Personally I would prefer if a guy calls the day after, cause all I want to do, after I come from the club at three or four in the morning, is to go to sleep!

Question number two. Can you date more than one person at a time? Just like the first topic, this one receives a variety of answers. Some say absolutely not, others see nothing wrong with it. Remember that dating is just DATING. Dating someone means that you are spending time with them, sharing personal information and seeing whether they are the right person to be in a committed relationship with. (Or that’s what it supposed to be!) Although sometimes I prefer to reserve my time for only one, I see nothing wrong in dating multiple people at the same time. Just be honest about it! As one woman puts it, ‘If you do not have options, you do not have a choice.’ So feel free to fill up your calendar with suitable bachelors or bachelorettes until you both decide to date exclusively, i.e., only each other. An issue arising from this is whether one can book two dates in one night. I really think that one night should be reserved for one person. This of course, like everything else, is subject to debate. According to a guy friend of mine, ‘Think about it, why does a car have a spare tire?’ I will reserve my comments for a later date.

So now you have a first date. Where do you go, what do you do? First dates shouldn’t be overly extravagant or involve an activity that will prevent you from talking to the other person. Activities such as going to the cinema, seeing a play or going out in a group will take the attention away from each other and not give you enough time to really get to know the other person. Many say that a first date should informal, fun and interesting. No stress, no pressure. And just remember that what you do while dating all depends on the person and the situation, so sometimes we should really just stop analyzing love and go with the flow. Now I better get on with actually finding one, a date that is! Hahaha. Until next week…