The Art of Flirting

I saw him across the room, stared for two seconds, smiled and then looked away. In less than ten seconds, he was at my side introducing himself. This thing called flirting is such a tricky thing and raises many issues and questions in the dating world. How do you flirt? Who can you flirt with? Where do you do it? What is flirting anyway and how do you prevent someone from mistaking friendliness for love?

The dictionary describes a flirt as someone who coquets for amusement, usually a woman. Huh? Coquet? This is the attempt to attract admiration without serious affection. Scientists have found that the art of flirting is actually a basic instinct in human beings and an essential part of human interaction. According to research, like everything else to do with love and dating, flirting is all tied in to the need for Homo sapiens to reproduce and to prevent extinction of the human race. Whew! And I thought all I was doing was winking at the guy!

Now according to countless websites, dedicated to teaching us all how to do the art, there are two types of flirting. One: Flirting for fun and Two: Flirting with intent. The first one is something that we all do subconsciously usually at social gatherings or functions where flirting is not only allowed but it is expected. Think about it. Your friend’s grandpa approaches you at the family Christmas party. He winks at you and says that you are the sexiest woman he’s ever seen. What do you do? Wink back at him and tell him that he is the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. The two of you share a laugh, maybe dance a bit and then go on your merry separate ways. Then there is the flirting with the intent to attract a member of the opposite sex. (This sounds like a criminal charge or something) This is when we all bring out our charm, make sweet eyes and laugh at any stupid joke the subject in question makes. This is all in an attempt to show our interest and may be start something going.

This reminds me of a popular saying that ‘people sometimes mistake good manners for love.’ Now this is something that will occur frequently when one is engaging in the art of flirting. Someone may just mistake your ‘flirting for fun’ or politeness as ‘sweetness’ or interest in them. Research has shown that men are more likely to mistake friendly behaviour for flirting because they tend to see the world in more sexual terms than women. The researches also concluded that women are more socially skilled than men, so they are better at interpreting behaviour and responding accordingly. Hmmm…Something to think about!