It's a Size Thing

St. Lucia is only 238 square miles. Yes, ONLY 238 square miles. You may be wondering why I am putting such an emphasis on that number. Well THAT number affects not only the real estate industry, the tourism industry, the size of the population, the economy blah, blah, blah but also this single girl’s dating life. What’s a gal to do when there are limited available men, limited places to go and let’s not forget running into your past at every corner? That means the probability of finding a date is low and the possibility of seeing your ex is high.

The first issue I have with the small size of my homeland is what I like to call the ‘Venn Diagram Factor’ (yes, I liked Mathematics at school). We all seem to be going around in circles. Dating circles that is. With the number of available men in the low numbers, sooner of later our circles will overlap with someone we know. For those not into Math, let me break it down for you. I am saying that my next date may be the ex-boyfriend of my friend’s cousin’s father’s brother’s sister’s friend or someone who you see out and about on a regular basis. Not a friend, but a sort of acquaintance. So if you like this guy, sooner or later someone will tell you that he was dating so and so girl that you know. That’s just great! If I start dating this guy, I may always have to deal with the dagger- throwing stares from his ex every time we go out. If she doesn’t see us out, I am certain that a friend of a friend of hers will take pleasure in informing her of the progress of the relationship. Yes I know that it is a free country and I am sure that I too have engaged in such behaviour but I just prefer not to deal with ex-girlfriend drama. In this small country, that is usually unavoidable.

Issue number two. In St. Lucia, you can never completely let go of your past relationships because they seem to run into you every time you turn the corner. My social life revolves around Rodney Bay Village, so I will more than likely bump into a guy that I used to like, used to date or am trying to avoid. I walk into the Blue Martini and there he is, I go for a drink with friends at Castaways and there he is playing pool or I stop to buy jerk chicken at 3 am and he is ordering the same thing next to me. Oye! This is such a predicament. Imagine flirting with a cute guy sitting next to you only to realize that an old dating partner is sitting two bar stools over on the left.

Someone asked me recently about how to deal with the fact that everywhere you go and everything you do will remind you of an ex because you have been there or done that with this person. Well, all I can say is that life goes on and time will heal the pain. This sounds like a country and western song but it is true. Just remember that this is what life is all about, and a few months from now (it may take longer for others) it will be easier to go out and enjoy yourself without any feelings of guilt or sadness.

I also seem to be experiencing déjà vu when I go out. It’s like I have done this already, seen these exact people at this exact place. Oh wait, I have! It was last weekend. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love going to a place and knowing most of the people there but I would also love to meet some new people. Two days ago, a friend told me that I should try socializing in another part of the island and that I would have better luck meeting great guys if I changed my location once in a while. Until next week dear reader. Oh I won’t forget to send y’all a postcard from Vieux Fort!

Photo: Damien Evans