Wall Building

We all remember the time when we were young and carefree and loved without abandon. The way we loved changed quickly when our heart was broken by the one we imagined was the perfect man or woman for us. We then had the difficult task of picking up the thousand broken pieces of our heart and trying to put them all back together. Getting your heart back exactly like it was before is near impossible. While we put the pieces together we also erect very sturdy walls around our heart to protect it and ourselves from the next missile. After being hurt, can we truly love again without all of our fences up?

As human beings it is only natural for us to try to learn from our mistakes and attempt to never repeat them. With love, we go the extra mile and swear to ourselves that we will never be hurt again. After that first blow, we build up walls that are supposed to protect us but usually only cause more harm than good. We soon forget that these walls are there and start wondering why we are not falling in love again.

A girlfriend of mine was so in love once. The guy was a bastard and constantly cheated on her. She found out, broke up with him and took a year plus to get over it. She vowed that she would never again let any guy get that close to her. She then returns to the dating world and seems to be only meeting idiots (according to her). She scrutinizes everything that the guys do and uses any possible excuse to break up with them. She really wanted to fall in love again but didn’t realize that her wall had become so high that she was not letting any other guy in. She now thought every man would cheat on her.

I have heard so many similar stories. A guy gets his heart broken so he becomes a player, tries not to fall in love again and goes around breaking hearts. Then the cycle continues. Is it possible to love as we used to without all of the armor and protection around our hearts? I do not think that something that is broken so badly can ever be the same again but we can learn to give other people a chance.

We must remember that no two people are alike and we cannot blame John for Jack’s behaviour. We cannot keep on believing that everyone is out to hurt us. Someone recently asked me how do they mend a broken heart. All I can say is that it takes time and if you allow yourself to be loved, then great things can happen in your life. Wow, I sound just like Dr Phil!

I really believe that even if your heart has been broken, you should love like you have never been hurt. Being in love is a great feeling and we should never deny ourselves that experience. I am not saying that you should ignore all warning signs if someone is not treating you the way that they should but just give people a chance. Judge everyone by his or her own behaviour and not that of your past loves. Good luck to you all!