Shag Buddy

I recently spied one of my guy friends out with a new girl. Curiousity got the better of me and I sent him a text asking if she was his new girlfriend. ‘Oh no’, he texted back quickly: ‘She is my shag buddy.’

For the more conservative among us, I will translate. Other terms to describe this delicate arrangement between two people include ‘friends with benefits’, ‘sex friend’ and ‘f@*k buddy’. Yes, two friends or acquaintances that regularly get together for sex, no strings attached. It is all just for the physical pleasure. Or is it?

While this ‘shag buddy’ thing is nothing new to the dating world, there has been a steady increase of women initiating these connections. It appears to me that now, more than ever, women are taking control of their sex lives and making their own rules. But the truth is that women are naturally complex. So can we really just have casual sex with no strings?

Many experts agree that for women, even though the sex is meant for physical pleasure, that their heart cannot be left at the bedroom door. Others say that women do not have the biological makeup to have unemotional flings and may be wounded emotionally by the experience. This ‘friends with benefits’ thing happens a lot when people are single and in between relationships but do not want a serious relationship.

How does this work? Are there rules to the casual shag? Can the two persons involved shag other people as well or are they exclusive? Do you go out on regular dates with your f#%k friend like a normal couple? My guy friend had taken his shag buddy out and told me that he was not ashamed of the girls he slept with. Experts say that casual flings could work and have their benefits but both people involved have to understand and agree that the union is just a casual one.

It has been said that women cannot just have casual sex and not get attached. According to some, when sex occurs a certain chemical is released in the woman’s brain that makes her feel more attached to the man. So even though she would like to keep the arrangement casual, she cannot help but develop deeper feelings for the man. Many people admit to being freer sexually with someone that they are just hooking up with as opposed to a long term partner.

Now can a ‘shag buddy’ develop into a boyfriend or girlfriend? Well it all depends on the two people involved in the relationship and what they want out of the union. If both agree that it is time to make the relationship official and start being serious, then it could work out beautifully. If on the other hand one person would like to keep it casual but the other person wants something more, then the relationship will not work because no one will be getting what they want. Anyhoo be good kids!