The Ex Factor
When it comes to a relationship, there is one certain fact; it more than likely will come to an end. Ofcourse there are the very unusual couples who spend fifty plus years together but for the majority it is bye-bye. What happens when breakups occur? Do we remain friends with that person or go out separate ways? Do we rekindle the relationship lower down the road and do we keep jumping into each others beds. When it comes to our exes, whatever do we do with them?
What happens after a relationship is over all depends on what happened in the relationship and how the breakup occurred. If it is amicable and both parties agree that it is time to go their separate ways, then maybe some sort of connection can be salvaged. On the other hand, if the end was bitter and painful, the best thing might be to avoid each other until things have calmed down considerably.
I saw a guy recently who I had dated in the past. He no longer lives on the island and came back to visit. After we had ended our relationship, we were both bitter and I refused to talk to him for a long while after. This time around, things were completely different. We had grown up, matured and learnt a few lessons about love and heart break. We were friends again and no longer had these early bitter feelings. It is said that time and distance are great healers so I guess it worked for us.
When breakups occur, there are several options or routes that the couple can take. Your ex can become your friend, if you two still want to maintain some sort of civil relationship but as I pointed out before, it all depends on how things ended. If you cheated or set fire to his car, I suggest you wait one year or maybe ten before trying to have a friendship again.
Another option is the practice of recycling. This is the method of reentering the dating world with someone who you have dated in the past. So our exes then become our not so exes anymore. We get together again and rekindle the old flame. I would say be very careful with this one. The reason the relationship ended may still be present. If the person is a cheating liar, a few months or years may have not changed then for the better. On the other hand if you two are now in a better place to be with each other than you were before, then why not. Go for it!
Some ex couples keep on jumping in and out of each others beds. Hey, I’m not saying that this is wrong but just know what you are getting out of it. A situation like this is a recipe for additional heartbreak.
Ofcourse you can always say ‘adios hombre’ and never speak to each other again. That would be unfortunate but it that it what works for you then leave that person in your past and move on.
What happens after a relationship is over all depends on what happened in the relationship and how the breakup occurred. If it is amicable and both parties agree that it is time to go their separate ways, then maybe some sort of connection can be salvaged. On the other hand, if the end was bitter and painful, the best thing might be to avoid each other until things have calmed down considerably.
I saw a guy recently who I had dated in the past. He no longer lives on the island and came back to visit. After we had ended our relationship, we were both bitter and I refused to talk to him for a long while after. This time around, things were completely different. We had grown up, matured and learnt a few lessons about love and heart break. We were friends again and no longer had these early bitter feelings. It is said that time and distance are great healers so I guess it worked for us.
When breakups occur, there are several options or routes that the couple can take. Your ex can become your friend, if you two still want to maintain some sort of civil relationship but as I pointed out before, it all depends on how things ended. If you cheated or set fire to his car, I suggest you wait one year or maybe ten before trying to have a friendship again.
Another option is the practice of recycling. This is the method of reentering the dating world with someone who you have dated in the past. So our exes then become our not so exes anymore. We get together again and rekindle the old flame. I would say be very careful with this one. The reason the relationship ended may still be present. If the person is a cheating liar, a few months or years may have not changed then for the better. On the other hand if you two are now in a better place to be with each other than you were before, then why not. Go for it!
Some ex couples keep on jumping in and out of each others beds. Hey, I’m not saying that this is wrong but just know what you are getting out of it. A situation like this is a recipe for additional heartbreak.
Ofcourse you can always say ‘adios hombre’ and never speak to each other again. That would be unfortunate but it that it what works for you then leave that person in your past and move on.
posted by Love Chronicles | 8:57 AM
1 Comments:
As much as a break up can be hurtful fact is at one point there was something real there, we all come into relationships with prerequisites for each other and that's not fair, i had the naive fairytale delusion of finding my prince early in life and boy did my first relationship experience teach me alot. Today am in love for real this time or is it again??? this time it feels very different.....sigh we humans just like complicating things, a wise man told me once if u don't expect anything u'll not be disappointed but can we really do that??? Currently am reading this book 'conversations with God' and according to "God" the mistake we make when entering a relationship is expecting the other person to complete us or fix whatever prob lurks in our minds, when relationships should be about the individual realizing that them- 'selves' are already complete and only when u realize that Self is complete can you accept relationships for what they are and not what you expect them to be. So no matter how messed up a break up was i don't think we should hate the person humans are beings of love and hate goes against our nature and nurtures cancers within us so don't hate the person who hurt you instead love them for making you stronger and wiser
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