Compromise

A relationship is the union of two very different worlds, so there will always be differences in opinions, beliefs, views and lifestyles. Many love experts say that a healthy relationship is all about compromise but how much of ourselves should we be willing to give up in order to make a relationship work? Does commitment equal compromise?

When dating, most people usually look for a partner who has similar interests, values and lifestyles as they do but this does not guarantee that the couple will agree on everything. The guy may be perfect for you but you may have extremely different views on certain issues.

A friend of mine used to date this guy who she thought was absolutely perfect for her. Later on into the relationship he admitted that he did not approve of women wearing makeup and making a fuss over their appearance. Now let me just explain that this friend of mine was a fashion and beauty addict, so telling her that wearing makeup was wrong was a no no. She of course was taken aback by this revelation and asked the guy whether they could agree to disagree. He stood steadfast and stuck to his beliefs and she to hers, so in the end the two went their separate ways.

Should she have compromised and wear less or no makeup and change her wardrobe to suit the guy? I would say no because if it starts with the makeup and wardrobe who knows where it will end up? In five years he may strongly suggest that she stop working and remain barefoot and pregnant cooking his food in his kitchen. That is just my opinion and some may see it differently. If you are willing to give that up to make the relationship work then I say good luck to you.

So if everything else in a relationship is perfect but there is just one thing that that the couple disagrees on, should they compromise and work it out or should they call it quits? I think that it really depends on what that one thing is. If compromising means that you will not be true to yourself and that you are giving up part of your identity, then I say call it quits and find another guy or gal who will accept you for what you are, differences and all.

Some relationship gurus say that if we give up too much of ourselves in a relationship just to please the other person, then we may end up resenting that person down the line. I really do not think that it makes sense to be with someone who will not allow you to be yourself. We have to allow room in our relationships for each other’s beliefs and opinions and not try to control the person that you are with by pushing your point of view down their throats.

Just remember that communication is the key in a relationship and that sometimes compromising is good. Guys, if the woman wants you to help out by taking out the trash, then just do it! And women if the guy wants you to stop yelling at him for every little thing, then just stop yelling. But if someone wants you to totally change who you are to suit themselves, then say adios. Until next week…