The 'M' Word

I am now used to getting responses to my column but last week’s article seem to take on a life of its own. Persons were stopping me in the streets just to let me know that they had read my article on sex toys. They didn’t want to discuss it at all but would just repeat the words ‘sex toys’ and ‘vibrators’ and snicker and giggle a lot. I am talking about grown men and women here, not kids. In 2007, is talking about sex still that taboo?

Only one reader was bold enough to continue the discussion, I would say that he was too bold. I was having dinner at one of my favorite restaurants Charthouse with my girlfriends, biting into a juicy medium rare lamb when a male acquaintance sitting near by starting talking about the article. He wanted to know if he could bring a sex toy and have a foursome with me and my girls. I’ll pass thank you!

Anyway, I have really been pondering the illegal status of vibrators, dildos and such toys and really wanted to investigate further why they were banned, and the implications of this. Like most of the laws on the books, this one has its roots in the rules of the Catholic faith. Yes, couples use sex toys to spice things up, but the main purpose is for self gratification or the taboo ‘M’ word that everybody pretends does not exist, Masturbation.

According to the Vatican website, in the ‘Catechism of the Catholic Church’, ‘By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action. The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.’

In simple terms, the Catholic Church considers masturbation a grave sin. According to Catholic teaching, sexual activity is intended for conception, thus masturbation is an immoral sexual practice because it does not permit conception and that masturbation is a sin that must be confessed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. This is the same reason that the church also opposes birth control.

My take is that laws are supposed to make lives better. Let us face the fact that people in this country are having sex, or you and I would not be here today. I believe in self control but we all have sexual urges, it is only natural. So would it not be best and smarter to use toys such as vibrators to get pleasure instead of having actual sex that if done unsafely could lead to unwanted pregnancies, diseases and emotional harm?

Other issues also arise. Sex toys are getting into the country, illegal as they are, and some people have developed an underground or black market business dealing them. I wonder how these ‘obscene articles and matter’ (Customs Act) get into the country. Is some customs official being bribed to turn a blind eye to the trade or are they being paid in kind? Maybe the traders have taken my advice and have started passing them of as neck and back massagers! More on this to come…