Toys R Us

Being a writer at STAR Publishing has many advantages including the open discussion of many taboo subjects that would make many uncomfortable and running for the door. On one hot Wednesday afternoon, the topic turned to relationships, then sex and then onto sex toys. I was pondering the fact that there were no sex shops here. While spending time in South Beach, Miami, there were sex or pleasure shops every few blocks. They sold not only lingerine, pornography videos but also sex toys such as vibrators, dildos, handcuffs, costumes and well, you get my point.

So, one of my colleagues informed me that importing vibrators or any sex toys were absolutely against the law. I of course was shocked. I mean, this is 2007, where we should be open minded. What responsible adults do in their bedrooms is all up to them, so what if they wanted to spice things up a bit? Should a couple be prosecuted for wanting to add some fun to and revamp their sex lives?

I was not fully convinced that this was actually against the law so my colleague called the Customs department to get the full report. Alas, he was informed of the section in the Customs Act that pertained to such items and yes they were prohibited from the island. The folks at Customs were sweet enough to fax a copy over to us. Let me spell it out to you.

In the Customs(Control and Management) Act, Third Schedule, Prohibitions and Restrictions, Part One, a list of prohibited imports was given. Included on the list was ‘All publications, articles or other matter associated with black magic, secret magic obeah, witchcraft or other magical arts and occultism’, ‘Preparations of opium or other narcotic drugs for smoking’ and ‘Condoms manufactured by MONKOK LATIX of South Korea’.

Then there it was, prohibited imports also include ‘Indecent or obscene prints, paintings, photographs, books, cards, lithographic or other engravings, phonographic records, videos or any other indecent articles or matter.’ Ok now, let’s break this down. So according to the law, I would be prohibited or not allowed to bring into the country any nude paintings by the old Masters of the Renaissance or nude photographs by the genius Helmet Newton. Now on to the vibrators such as the ‘rabbit’ which gained popularity in an episode of HBO’s Sex and the City. Vibrators and any other sex toys are, I guess, considered ‘indecent articles or matter’.


Let’s just all stop giggling now and grow the hell up and get in step with the world around us. Sex toys are something that adults use to keep things interesting and should certainly not be considered illegal or prohibited. Why don’t we use all of that energy to stop the ridiculous amount of illegal drugs trafficked in and out of or country.
I guess the next time I want to bring in the ‘rabbit’, I will have to tell the customs official that it is a neck massager! Anyhoo kids, until next time…