The 'M' Word

I am now used to getting responses to my column but last week’s article seem to take on a life of its own. Persons were stopping me in the streets just to let me know that they had read my article on sex toys. They didn’t want to discuss it at all but would just repeat the words ‘sex toys’ and ‘vibrators’ and snicker and giggle a lot. I am talking about grown men and women here, not kids. In 2007, is talking about sex still that taboo?

Only one reader was bold enough to continue the discussion, I would say that he was too bold. I was having dinner at one of my favorite restaurants Charthouse with my girlfriends, biting into a juicy medium rare lamb when a male acquaintance sitting near by starting talking about the article. He wanted to know if he could bring a sex toy and have a foursome with me and my girls. I’ll pass thank you!

Anyway, I have really been pondering the illegal status of vibrators, dildos and such toys and really wanted to investigate further why they were banned, and the implications of this. Like most of the laws on the books, this one has its roots in the rules of the Catholic faith. Yes, couples use sex toys to spice things up, but the main purpose is for self gratification or the taboo ‘M’ word that everybody pretends does not exist, Masturbation.

According to the Vatican website, in the ‘Catechism of the Catholic Church’, ‘By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action. The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.’

In simple terms, the Catholic Church considers masturbation a grave sin. According to Catholic teaching, sexual activity is intended for conception, thus masturbation is an immoral sexual practice because it does not permit conception and that masturbation is a sin that must be confessed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. This is the same reason that the church also opposes birth control.

My take is that laws are supposed to make lives better. Let us face the fact that people in this country are having sex, or you and I would not be here today. I believe in self control but we all have sexual urges, it is only natural. So would it not be best and smarter to use toys such as vibrators to get pleasure instead of having actual sex that if done unsafely could lead to unwanted pregnancies, diseases and emotional harm?

Other issues also arise. Sex toys are getting into the country, illegal as they are, and some people have developed an underground or black market business dealing them. I wonder how these ‘obscene articles and matter’ (Customs Act) get into the country. Is some customs official being bribed to turn a blind eye to the trade or are they being paid in kind? Maybe the traders have taken my advice and have started passing them of as neck and back massagers! More on this to come…

Toys R Us

Being a writer at STAR Publishing has many advantages including the open discussion of many taboo subjects that would make many uncomfortable and running for the door. On one hot Wednesday afternoon, the topic turned to relationships, then sex and then onto sex toys. I was pondering the fact that there were no sex shops here. While spending time in South Beach, Miami, there were sex or pleasure shops every few blocks. They sold not only lingerine, pornography videos but also sex toys such as vibrators, dildos, handcuffs, costumes and well, you get my point.

So, one of my colleagues informed me that importing vibrators or any sex toys were absolutely against the law. I of course was shocked. I mean, this is 2007, where we should be open minded. What responsible adults do in their bedrooms is all up to them, so what if they wanted to spice things up a bit? Should a couple be prosecuted for wanting to add some fun to and revamp their sex lives?

I was not fully convinced that this was actually against the law so my colleague called the Customs department to get the full report. Alas, he was informed of the section in the Customs Act that pertained to such items and yes they were prohibited from the island. The folks at Customs were sweet enough to fax a copy over to us. Let me spell it out to you.

In the Customs(Control and Management) Act, Third Schedule, Prohibitions and Restrictions, Part One, a list of prohibited imports was given. Included on the list was ‘All publications, articles or other matter associated with black magic, secret magic obeah, witchcraft or other magical arts and occultism’, ‘Preparations of opium or other narcotic drugs for smoking’ and ‘Condoms manufactured by MONKOK LATIX of South Korea’.

Then there it was, prohibited imports also include ‘Indecent or obscene prints, paintings, photographs, books, cards, lithographic or other engravings, phonographic records, videos or any other indecent articles or matter.’ Ok now, let’s break this down. So according to the law, I would be prohibited or not allowed to bring into the country any nude paintings by the old Masters of the Renaissance or nude photographs by the genius Helmet Newton. Now on to the vibrators such as the ‘rabbit’ which gained popularity in an episode of HBO’s Sex and the City. Vibrators and any other sex toys are, I guess, considered ‘indecent articles or matter’.


Let’s just all stop giggling now and grow the hell up and get in step with the world around us. Sex toys are something that adults use to keep things interesting and should certainly not be considered illegal or prohibited. Why don’t we use all of that energy to stop the ridiculous amount of illegal drugs trafficked in and out of or country.
I guess the next time I want to bring in the ‘rabbit’, I will have to tell the customs official that it is a neck massager! Anyhoo kids, until next time…