Sweat Rice, Voodoo Spells & Love Potions

Last weekend, a local newspaper had an extremely interesting classified advert. It advertised the services of a voodoo queen or obeah mama who promised to return lost love, reignite the passion and keep-your-man potions. I am sure that we have all grown up hearing the stories of the man who can never leave the woman he hates because she ‘tie’ him. We’ve all heard the hush whispers of couples eternally stuck together because the woman put an ‘obeah potion’ in her man’s morning coffee or the man buried a lock of the woman’s hair underneath the tree in the backyard. Can someone really be forced into loving another and do ‘love potions’ really exist?

To investigate this further, I contacted someone, who shall remain nameless, with a little insight into these practices. This person was convinced that ‘love potions’ and ‘voodoo spells’ work extremely well when it comes to love and gave me many examples to prove just that. The first story told was about this couple who fought constantly, truly hated each other but for some reason could not leave the relationship. After many years of this living hell, they consulted a counselor and this is when the truth was exposed.

First the woman admitted that she had used a spell to keep the man at home. What she did was rather peculiar. When the guy was asleep, she took a tape measure and wrapped it around his body. This tape measure was then put into a glass bottle and dropped into the river. The man then confessed that he too had used other means to keep the woman devoted to him. While she was asleep, he took a strand of her hair, threaded a needle with it and that needle was then placed in a banana tree. Since they had both ‘tied’ each other, then neither could leave the relationship. Only after lots of counseling and praying, the spells were broken and the two went their separate ways.

The stories about ‘magic love’ did not stop there. My source went on to tell me about one very popular and often practiced ritual. This one is known as ‘sweat rice’. What happens is that a woman who wants to keep a man, boils a pot of rice. When the rice is cooked, she takes the hot steaming pot of rice and places it on the floor. The woman, now naked, stoops over the steaming pot and allows certain ‘juices’ to flow into the pot. I’m sure you can use your imagination from here. So anyway, when her man comes home, the woman gives him this ‘sweat rice’ to eat and then he is hooked for life!

My very informative source told me many more, all of which are a little too disgusting to be repeated. Things to do with . . . Oh no I really can’t repeat! Do these voodoo spells and potions really work? Some I have spoken to about this are convinced that it works and are widely practiced in St Lucia. Others say that it is all baloney. I really do not know what to think. All I can say, is please do not try the above at home and guys, I would avoid eating rice unless absolutely necessary!

Death to Valentines II

Last year, on the occasion of Valentine’s Day, I wrote about how much I detest the day for lovers. I mean, enough already with the red and white! Believe it or not, what I wrote one year ago still applies today.

It’s that time of year again when lovers, romantics and those obsessed with all things red, wake up with a smile on their faces in anticipation of the day. No, it’s not even their birthday or wedding day. It’s Valentine’s Day, February 14—the day everyone gets flowers and chocolates and special unmentionables from their sweethearts. Everyone except the single people! And that includes yours truly. Why must this day even exist? Can’t couples buy flowers or chocolates and have that special dinner any ole time of the year?

Since I can’t wave my magic wand and make it all go away, I guess I will have to suffer through this year’s celebrations. Now, dear reader, please don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that couples get a chance to show their appreciation for each other and that some businesses will be having a very good week, but that day is just a slap in the face of all the single people out there.

Even though some of us love being just one, Valentine’s Day is like a child waving his finger at you, taunting you and reminding you that you are all alone. It’s everywhere you turn: School children wearing their little paper cutout hearts pinned to their chests, every store window advertising some special and let’s not forget the people who dress in red and white! I’ll be in black.And then, there are the ads on the radio, television and newspapers for every kind of Valentine’s Day event. This year I have realized that the organizers of these parties and dinners are actually inviting the single people to join in on the fun.

Now, think about it. Why would I, a single girl, want to come to a Valentine’s dinner and dance? Do I want to torture my weak heart by watching couples look at each other lovingly, dance closely and making out in all available corners, as I sit all by my lonesome listening to love songs? No way! Then, to add insult to injury, you have to pay more to attend if you are coming alone! I saw two events advertised on television where the entrance fee to the party is $20 for singles and $30 for couples (or $15 per person). So after I’m already feeling down about being alone on Valentine’s Day, I have to pay more than an attached person to enjoy myself and lift my spirits. Thanks a lot!

I must apologize if I sounded extremely angry or cynical or rude. I really can’t help it. To all the couples, please enjoy each other every day of the year and not just on Valentine’s. The truth is we have to be thankful for the people who love us. Forgive me if I look a little grumpy, snap at you or are dressed all in black. Hmmm, maybe next year I’ll be getting flowers or wearing red. Until next time . . .

Crazy Love

My mouth hit the floor when I watched the morning news on CNN earlier this week. A female NASA astronaut, Lisa Nowak, was arrested for the attempted kidnapping and attempted first-degree murder of a colleague who she believed to be a romantic rival for the affections of another astronaut Navy Commander William Oefelein. The story only gets more bizarre.

This astronaut, with a masters degree in aeronautical engineering and who flew to space last July, went wacko because she was in love with a man. Nowak drove 900 miles from Houston to Orlando wearing a disguise and a pamper so that she would not have to stop along the way to use the bathroom! To make a very long story short, she confronted the woman in a parking lot, police were called and she was arrested. I must add that she is recently separated from her husband and has three children.

So what makes a woman, in this case a very intelligent astronaut with a masters degree go crazy over some guy? When it comes to love why do we let go of our sensible selves and do obviously crazy things to win the affections of someone else? The great philosopher Plato once said that ‘Love is a serious mental disease.’ We have all heard the stories of women who do anything to keep their man or get one. I have even had a woman call and tell me that she would kill me if I didn’t stay away from her man. To this day, I do not even know who her man is! So what makes us go all nuts over love?

Researcher Helen Fisher of Rutgers University has said that during the stages of falling in love, there is a certain group of neuro-transmitters released in our brains. One of these called Serotonin, is the most important chemical involved in the love process. Serotonin may actually send us temporarily insane! Researchers found that events occurring in the brain when we are in love have similarities with mental illness. So can we really blame this astronaut for her weird and crazy actions? I think that she and her lawyers should just blame the whole incident on Serotonin. I can just imagine the scene in the courtroom. ‘Why did you try to kidnap your colleague Ms Nowak?’ asks the prosecutor. ‘The Serotonin made me do it,’ she answers. ‘Why did you try to kill your colleague?' ‘The Serotonin made me do it,’ she answers again.

Another chemical released while in love is Dopamine which is also activated by cocaine and nicotine use. So that means when we are in love with someone we start acting like crack heads. Anyway, there is even more evidence that shows that people really suffer from a few mental disorders while in love. A1990 research study done in Italy suggested that people who have recently fallen in love have some symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD.

A sufferer of OCD may become obsessive about certain things. One of the authors of the study suggested that these chemical reactions are necessary for relationships to last because we kinda have to be mad to fall in love. Oh well, I wish that astronaut, her family and all others involved all the luck in the world. After all it wasn’t really her fault. The Serotonin did it!

Studs Vs Sluts

One great thing about working at Star Publishing is the unlimited opportunity for in-depth and truly interesting discussion. I recently got into such a discussion with two of the Star Newspaper's writers. The conversation centered on the differences between men and women and the male writer was convinced that women are the superior sex. I would have to agree with him there but the conversation got much more interesting than that.

We started talking about whether women are really able to sleep around or have sex without any emotional attachment like some men are able to do very well. I call this the battle of the Studs Vs the Sluts. We all know what happens is a guy enjoys himself and beds many women. His friends slap him on the back and treat him like their national hero. But when a woman decides to be sexually liberated and add a few notches to her bedpost she is instantly labeled a slut. Isn't this an equal opportunity society where there both sexes should be treated the same?

Another important question that arises in these types of situation is the question of whether men and women are built the same emotionally. Can a woman truly 'screw around' like a man and have sex just for the pleasure of it without developing any emotional attachment to the guy in question? During our discussion at work, the male writer was convinced that women were simply not like men in that respect and that the mothering instincts in women always pop up in all situations. He went on to say that many women try to just have sex but sooner of later emotions get in the way.

I do not fully agree with that statement because like everything else it depends on the person involved. I can talk from the perspective of a woman and say that sometimes sex is just sex and at other times emotional attachments do arise. What started out as just sleeping together turns into something more. From a male perspective, I can only say what my male friends have told me. They too agree that they can just sleep around and really not feel anything for the women. One admitted that even though he was happily married and that he would never leave his wife, a little something different on the side now and then was necessary. This, he said would never affect his marriage. He also went on to admit that if his wife did the same thing then he would have a problem with it because she would get too involved with the other man (as all women do!).

So the great debate rages on. Are men and women emotionally different when it comes to sex and everything else? Recent scientific studies suggest that there are starck differences between the emotional wiring in men and women. The research studies suggested that the brains of the sexes are built differently. So would these differences affect how we view and respond to sex? The discussions continue….

Be Single or Be Sorry

I hope that all married and committed women are not tempted to shoot me after they are done reading this article. Here goes: One report by the World Health Organization indicated that married women, especially those with children have a higher risk of depression than single women. A recent morning news report on NBC investigated the reasons why being single is so great. And suggested that many married persons or those in a committed relationship are sorry that they are in a twosome. The divorce rate is also on the rise with marriages lasting even shorter than they used to. So I guess the rule is be single or be sorry!

Now to all the couples out there, I am not trying to scare you in any way. I just want to support all of the single people and remind them why it is soooo good to be unattached.On a very entertaining Web site Askmen.com, one of their writers listed the reasons why men should enjoy their single status. Many of these apply to single women as well. They include not having to tolerate nagging or moodiness, appreciating your independence and having complete control over your finances. I have to add to that list that you can really truly be yourself and not have to adjust your personality, lifestyle or choices to please anybody. You have the complete freedom to do whatever you want with your time, if it’s watching six episodes of Sex in the City one after the other for the third time this week, or partying until four in the morning with your friends.

Another study suggested that single people are more likely to achieve great things. Now think about it, if you are constantly occupied with wifely or household duties in addition to regular work, is there any time or energy left over to come up with brilliant ideas or even work at achieving something great? Oh boy, I am really in trouble now! I am making references to studies and research done on the subject so I am not just pulling these comments out of a hat.

There are so many other benefits of being single. You really have the freedom and time to develop your interests and truly find out what you really want out of life. Being married or in a long-term committed relationship when you are too young could have many negative effects. I could never imagine being married at twenty. Six years later, I am a completely different person and my perspective on a lot of things has changed. If I had gotten married to the type of guy that I liked when I was twenty, I would be a miserable wreck right now and I would be very sorry I made that commitment. But of course it may work for some people.

But wait, there are still more benefits to being single. These include having better friendships and having a better body. A recent study by the Cornell University concluded that women generally gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of marriage and unhappily married women gain an average of 54 pounds in the first ten years. Ouch! I can see the firing squad lining up in front of me now . . .